My life as
a Melburnian was filled to bursting with the comfortable flourishes you’d
expect from the life of a thirty-something woman with a privileged background, a
well-paid(-ish) job, supportive family and lovely friends. It was these same comfortable
flourishes, however, that I vowed would not follow me to London. As I’ve
mentioned in previous blog posts, my northern hemisphere life was to be about new
challenges, different experiences, wider boundaries. This blog has, hopefully,
shown evidence of how I’ve embraced this new life adventure, without too much
of a backwards glance.
Nine months
later, or 238 days away from home, and I must admit that the thought of my
comfortable flourishes started to tug at my heartstrings, warming me at my core.
A little something of Melbourne would be nice thing to have, I mused to myself.
And then, with the passing of Easter, I became acutely aware of how far home
was. Home, and family. Not only that, I was about to say goodbye to my first
stable source of income since arriving in London and while I was happy to run
out the door at 5.31pm on my last day, the thought of again heading into the
unknown, left me a little dizzy.
My first attempt
at finding comfort, aka locating a delicious chicken parma, didn’t go well. (As you know.) I wondered what I could try next. I didn’t need a huge, woollen blanket
of comfort after all, a small knitted beanie’s worth would do.
Meanwhile,
my first free weekday arrived in all its glory, grey clouds and all. To get
myself back into ‘writer’ mode, I set off for the Barbican, just as I would
have done pre-office job, with my laptop in my backpack, ideas trying to break
the surface, and the heady whirl of freedom all around. I found a space among
my fellow freelancers and tried to remember where I’d left my characters.
However, after a few hours, my manuscript document remained unopened, my head
distracted by tweets, Facebook posts and Guardian articles. Defeated, I decided
to take myself for a late lunch.
Before
heading to Beigel Bake (a blog post in itself – delicious salt beef, mustard
and pickle bagels from a Brick Lane institution), I decided to visit the
Barbican’s library on the second floor. As I walked through the library’s
entrance, as I’d done so many times, I saw the ‘membership’ sign before I saw
anything else.
And then I
knew.
I knew what
would bring me comfort, would warm my head, my core and everything else.
It was
about bloody time I joined a library in London. I took myself over to the
membership desk and proudly declared my interest in joining – the volume of my
voice not strictly in keeping with my surrounds. I lowered my tone, filled out
the requisit forms and waited for my library card. As I did so, my memory
flashed to a time when I had stood at a similar desk, also waiting for a
library card. That would be me, at the Carlton library, just after I’d
purchased my new house in early 2014.
That
library on Rathdowne street was a frequent haunt of mine (a close second to
Gerald’s bar – oh the wine-soaked memories!). It was this very library that had
allowed me to become a braver, more adventurous reader. I would spend much of
my time wandering the aisles, picking out books I’d heard little, if anything,
about and had more often than not, absolutely loved them. Even if I hated them,
I loved them for pushing me to read outside my boundaries. (And yes, I also
hired DVDs because that’s how I rolled…back when I had a TV…and a DVD player…)
And as I
fondly remembered my time in one of Melbourne’s best libraries, I was brought
back to the present, a new library card pressed into my hand, its promise of
new adventures making my fingers, my brain, tingle.
As odd as
it sounds, receiving that library card made me feel more settled than the job I’d
just finished. I felt a little more whole, a little more confident, as I
stepped back out into the giant, exhausting, grand, amazing city I’m trying to
call home.
I left the
Barbican library with a spring in my step, a sense of calm wrapped around me,
and a renewed sense of excitement nipping at my heals. With my job over, it’s
time for the next chapter. Stay tuned for more…
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